


the ice that slips down my spine (from having you on my mind)

by Kidfish



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, it's been a hot minute since I wrote something, the car scene, turns out I have strong feelings about slurpees, you know the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 21:51:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16072061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kidfish/pseuds/Kidfish
Summary: “So guess what?”Izzie tries to guess what news Casey has for her. Maybe something about Sam, or maybe her parents’. Though her voice is upbeat so the latter is probably out of the question.“I had sex again.”Oh.or: an exploration of feelings in the car





	the ice that slips down my spine (from having you on my mind)

**Author's Note:**

> like most people, I pretty much started and finished atypical within a 24 hour time period and wow!! cazzie has my heart
> 
> this is my first time writing and actually posting for a fandom, so please be gentle!
> 
> title is mine but the characters are not (sadly).
> 
> enjoy!!

She doesn't even like Cotton Candy Slurpees. 

Izzie had always consider herself more of a Wild Cherry kind of girl, maybe the occasional Grape, but never Cotton Candy. 

Her dislike of the particular flavor came after one too many afternoons cleaning it off of the floor of her mom’s car. She used to take the kids on monthly 7-11 runs but after the oldest, Michael, drank his too fast and ended up vomiting, Izzie had sworn off the flavor forever.

But here she was, sitting next to Casey in an empty 7-11 parking lot, drinking a damn Cotton Candy Slurpee.

“I can’t believe we drove four towns away just to find a 7-11 that serves Cotton Candy Slurpees,” Izzie says, breaking the silence between them.

“I have no regrets.”

She doesn’t know how to respond, not willing to confess she is spending every second of drinking her Slurpee trying not to gag. Miracuously, she’s almost done with the horrid drink, so she takes another sip and swallows, the cold ice sliding bitterly down her throat. 

“So guess what?” 

Izzie tries to guess what news Casey has for her. Maybe something about Sam, or maybe her parents’. Though her voice is upbeat so the latter is probably out of the question.

“I had sex again,” Casey voice is proud and happy.

Oh. That kind of news.

Izzie can tell Casey is looking at her for a reaction, but she just rolls her eyes and responds, “with Evan?”

As if Casey would be having sex with anyone else.

“No, with myself,” Casey deadpans sarcastically. “Still counts though, right?”

“Shut up” 

Izzie tries to prevent it but the image of Casey sprawled out with her hand beneath her shorts on her bed, the bed where Izzie almost kissed her, flashes into her head. She’d be lying to herself if this was the first time she’s imagined Casey this way, in various states of undress. Izzie’s seen her too, Casey’s back, pale and freckled, as she pulled on a sports bra in the locker room. Or her thighs, when Casey changed into her sleep shorts the night they had their sleepover. She doesn’t know why she’s so worked up about Casey’s legs. She’s a runner, of course she has nice legs, all runners do.

When she went home and long after the kids had been put to bed, Izzie finally allowed her mind to wander for the first time since meeting Casey. All it took was her to picture Casey and her kissing in the locker room, both of them wearing their track uniforms. Once, Izzie had brushed her hand over Casey’s exposed collarbone and she was sure she saw Casey shiver. She came embarrassingly quickly, remembering how close Casey’s mouth was to hers and the hunger in Casey’s eyes before they fluttered shut.

Immediately after, Izzie felt disgusting. What type of person imagines their best friend when they have a hand in between their legs? Her best friend, who was in a committed relationship with a boy. She thought of Evan and immediately regretted it because now there were other images of Casey in her head, images that involved Casey and Evan and not her. 

Izzie didn’t know which made her feel worse: imaging Casey and her together or Casey with Evan.

“Yeah, with Evan.” Casey’s voice interrupts her thoughts. 

There is lump forming in her throat now and it isn’t being caused by the Slurpee. 

“I really love him,” She sounds so calm, like her and Evan in love is the simplest thing in the world.

Izzie wants to believe it’s not, she needs it to believe it’s not, so she doesn’t go crazy because she knows there is something between them, a tension she hasn’t been able to figure out since that first day they talked in detention. 

“I know you do.”

She really does.

She can’t look at Casey right now or else she’ll see Casey throwing herself into Evan, passionately kissing him like her lips weren’t just millimeters away from someone else who wasn’t him. 

The image of them is burned into her mind. 

But, Izzie supposes, it’s the punishment she deserves for a girl like her. Casey and Evan are in love and she’s the one that who’s an asshole and is messing it up. 

The pauses are getting longer between them and Izzie is going to say something else, anything else to get away from this dangerous territory. It’s the same territory when they were in Casey’s room or even in the pillowfort. 

“It’s just sometimes a thing feels like...” Izzie hears Casey swallow forcefully and she doesn’t dare to breathe. “...so right, you know?”

It’s obvious that Casey chose her words carefully, like they mean something, and even though they were just talking about Evan, Izzie knows the words are for her.

And she can’t help the intake of breath she sucks in because she does know.

She knows it very well. She knows it in the way they run together, always, at practice, or the way Casey hugged her after Izzie showed up on her doorstep, or how Casey’s eyes softened when she thinks Izzie can’t see after she talked to Sam about Edison.

She knows it in the way Casey’s breath hitched as Izzie pulled them close on the bed and how Casey’s eyes zeroed in on Izzie’s bottom lip after she bit it nervously. She knows it because now she is one hundred percent sure they would have kissed if it hadn’t been for Elsa knocking on the door. 

Izzie shifts her almost empty Slurpee cup into her other hand and grips it so tight she’s positive the slightest shake would instantly make her puncture the cup and Slurpee would end up on the floor. 

Even though Izzie can’t see her hand, she knows Casey’s hand is just across the seat, inches away.

She wants to hold Casey’s hand. The thought occurs to her and it hits her like a truck. It’s even stronger than her urge to kiss Casey, which is definitely strong, but now she just wants to intertwine Casey’s fingers with hers and hold on forever. 

Izzie wonders if her hands are soft like she imagines they would be. 

She decides she’s going to find out.

As soon as this thought occurs in her mind, her hand moves, almost on its own accord. The very tip of her pinky finger grazes Casey’s hand and Izzie’s tries to make her hand steady, but she’s trembling with nerves. Izzie can’t look at her, especially not now as her finger interlocks with Casey’s. 

Instead, she starts to worry her bottom lip and stares out the window to the empty parking lot around them. Izzie knows biting her lip is a habit she needs to break but it’s either focusing on that or spontaneously combusting from embarrassment on the spot.

Suddenly, now multiple of her fingers are pressing against Casey’s palm and she’s holding her breath because up until now it’s been her making the first moves, but then Casey’s thumb is pressed reassuringly against her own and Izzie can breathe again.

She closes her eyes and relaxes a little because Casey isn’t weirded out by this. On the contrary, she’s moving her hand to cover Izzie’s and it’s just the tiniest bit sweaty. Izzie finds it incredibly endearing.

They are both moving their hands now, lacing their fingers together and holding on tight. 

Casey’s hand feels like it's the only thing keeping Izzie bounded to the earth. 

Izzie still doesn’t look at her even when Casey’s phone starts to buzz, sounding like a jackhammer in the silence. She just tries not to let Casey feel her flinch. 

She has a feeling it’s Evan and somehow, bizarrely, he knows. He knows the exact moment Izzie’s finger brushed Casey’s and she’s going to answer and tell him everything and then he’ll probably driving up now to take Casey away and ban her from ever seein-

Casey doesn’t answer the phone. 

She does, however, stare at the screen as it rings, but she eventually touches the little red circle that ends the call.

Casey doesn’t put her phone back and she still is looking at Izzie but they are still holding hands.

Izzie can feel how Casey’s heartbeat has sped up and she desperately wants to tell her that is how her heart feel all the time when she is around Casey. 

Though, she has a feeling that Casey already knows. 

And she’s pretty confident Casey feels the same way.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I can't believe how quickly this ship stole my heart.
> 
> Anyway, if you liked it leave a kudos/comment below!!
> 
> If you want to yell about cazzie or any other gay ships with me, I'm on twitter/tumblr at: iamkidfish


End file.
